Fear of the Unknown – My First Conference Experience

With each passing day, I’m increasingly nervous. My mind and body act in restless unison. Even in my dreams, my mind is haunted by my greatest challenge since my Bachelor’s thesis.

Earlier this year, I send an essay proposal for a Tolkien Conference in Portugal. This must have happened in a moment of insanity. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, however, I was speechless when my proposal was accepted. Here I am, a second semester Master’s student that is paralysed with fear before each in-class presentation, yet I decided voluntarily to attend a conference for the first time. I’m still unable to comprehend what went through my mind when I send my proposal, thinking it’ll be a good idea to present my half-baked notions about Tolkien’s Hobbits at a Tolkien conference in front of Tolkien experts.

There is no turning back now. I booked my flight and hotel. In less than two months I’ll know if this is going to be an opportunity for me to grow or to an occasion for me to fail miserably.

I need to distract my mind before it decides to do something stupid again.


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